Licence To Kill I: Sean J Roger
by Leonora Chris
Summary: Tony is living a secret second life, which even Gibbs knows nothing about. Would it really be so bad if the boss knew? How bad can it be? First part in the License To Kill series.


_**(I don't own NCIS or the characters etc from it, only the story is mine.)**_

**So this whole thing was born during the time I had no laptop/computer... In case you didn't notice it, the name of the series is from the James Bond movie.**

_**Leo**_

* * *

**\- YEAR 2004 -**

_**NAVY YARD, 9 AM. MONDAY. PRESENT.  
** _

"Where's DiNozzo?" Gibbs growled the moment he stepped out of the elevator. His other two agents shrugged and prayed that their boss would keep his bad mood outside the work this time.

Gibbs furrowed his brows, feeling irritated and worried at the same time. DiNozzo was often late from work. Although, rarely more than few minutes here and there, and he did always make up for it by staying late. Last months however, it seemed like the young man could never get to work on time...

* * *

_ **ITALY, 8 AM. SATURDAY. LOCAL TIME.  
** _

"Why _do_ they always escape?" he huffed under his breath as he ran.

The voice in his ear sounded both amused and annoyed. _"Are you seriously asking that? Like, for real? After all these years? I mean, what would _you_ do in their shoes? Happily run straight into your arms and let you do your thing? Remind me again, what was it that you do? Cuddle them to death?_"

"Fair enough... Hey, Einstein. See if there's another way I could use... I'll never catch him this way."

_"Bossy... Sure... Just a sec..."_

He could feel the beating of his heart. It was like underwater drum solo, playing just for him. He could taste the blood in his mouth and distantly he realized that he was smirking. Maybe he'd been doing this work for too long? Then again, had there ever been a time when it hadn't been too long?

"Hold it... I think I found one..."

The voice puffed an annoyed breath in his ear._ "Remind me exactly why I am wasting my precious and very limited time sitting here when there are so many other things I could, _should_, be doing at this very moment?"_

He laughed in response and could imagine the annoyed look on Einstein's face too well. "Sorry..."

The dirtbag had a good distance, but not for long. He wasn't doing this job so he could just let his targets get away. Changing direction, he quickly made his way to one of the rooftops. Running to the other side of it, his eyes scanned the area and within a few seconds he knew all he needed to know. Adjusting the small ear piece, to make sure it wouldn't fall off, he ignored the frantic screaming in his ear. There was not a moment of hesitation as he jumped down.

Landing on something soft, he was thankful for spotting it in time. Hard landing wasn't on his 'to do' list again anytime soon. Getting up, he brushed his fingers quickly over his clothes and then over his hair. He noticed the shocked look on the face of a man whose cargo he had just messed up. Flashing a smile he apologized in fluent Italian before rushing off again. Now was not the time for a friendly chatter.

Running for a few more minutes, he finally slowed down into a slow walk. Seeing the car, he shook his head. Somebody was not being very clever... Making it so easy for him to see...

"Just to double check. That's the one, right?" He frowned when the only answer he got was silence. For a moment he panicked and feared that something had happened to his partner. "Hey! Einstein!"

_"...I'm not talking to you..."_ came the muffled response.

He laughed, barely hiding his relief from his voice. "I'm sorry. I'll warn you next time I'm going to jump, so you can close your eyes."

_"Don't joke about it! You really scared me! _You_ try watching a live video broadcast of a life through the eyes of some idiot who completely ignores the laws of physics on regular basis! I keep thinking that 'this is it_'_! He's not going to make it this time!"_

"Sorry, sorry... So?"

_"Yeah... That's the one..."_

"Good. Hey. You might want to close your eyes for this one."

_"...They're closed..."_

"Attaboy." He grinned and then the smile was gone as he put his hand inside his jacket and walked closer to the car. Stopping next to it he knocked on the window.

The driver rolled down the window, looking annoyed and tried speaking something in his broken Italian, but then stopped in the middle of the angry rant. With eyes wide open and a bleeding hole in the forehead, the man slumped backwards.

He opened the door and pushing the driver down on the other side, he barely glanced at the body as he reached forward to take the hat. Glad that it didn't have much blood on it, he put it on his head and sat on the driver's seat. Waiting and with his gun hidden on his lap, he kept brushing his thumb over the cold metal.

"How close?"

_"Five minutes, tops."_

"Don't forget to close your eyes again."

_"Shut up... I can handle it just fine..."_

"Like that one time? I heard you threw up for days after it. You're already nothing but skin and bones. How can I ever look your mother in the eyes again if you lose any more weight? And you can't forget the nightmares you had after the last time. Remember?"

_"I'm over it by now, thank you very much for bringing that up again."_

He chuckled and changed his voice into creepy and raspy sounding. "Meatballs and chainsaw... Can you hear it my boy? It's coming... Coming..!"

_"Shut up! I got it..! I'll close my eyes."_

"Attaboy..."

_"That was just plain mean you know... And you can't protect me from things like that forever..."_

"I know... Ah... There he is..."

He moved the hat to hide most of his face, when his target opened the backdoor and jumped inside. Gasping for his breath the man glanced frantically outside and then yelled in Russian. **"Let's go! There was a change in plans!"**

He turned around slowly to look at the man and with his gun pointed at him, he spoke in Russian. **"Vlad quit." **Before the man had time to react, he ended his miserable life. Watching with empty eyes when the life was gone from yet another bad guy. Another mission.

_"...Is it done now?"_

He stared at the bloody body for a moment. "Yeah... The mission is over... Let's both go home... If we're lucky, maybe we'll get some sleep this time..."

He could feel the concern from his partner, even without him saying anything. He refused to say anything though as he got out of the car and walked away towards the morning sun. It hurt his eyes even through his sunglasses which he had put on, but he didn't care.

_"Hey... Roger... Are you sure you're not hurt? I don't want to sneak you out of some shady Chinese hospital again, because you pass out on the way home and crash your airplane..."_

"I'm fine!" he snapped and then sighed. "Sorry... I'm fine... Besides, I'm not even in China, remember? Really... I'll call you later, okay?"

_"Okay... And Roger-"_

Taking off the earpiece and then the contact lenses from his eyes, he cut off all contact to his partner. It was time to go home and all he really wanted to do was to sleep away a generation or few. Knowing at the same time that he didn't have the luxury. He never did. It was the price you had to pay for living two lives. Both demanding that he worked himself to death. Quite literally.

"God... What am I doing..?"

He held on until he made it far enough before he threw up violently. It was the price he had to sometimes pay after the mission was over and his 'weekday' persona caught up with the persona he used while working on the missions. The him now couldn't always handle the other and the life he lived and the things he did.

* * *

_ **NAVY YARD, 9:05 AM. MONDAY. PRESENT.  
** _

It didn't matter how evil the dead were. Each time he felt like he had lost part of his soul. Or perhaps it had something to do with the persona he put on each time he went on to those missions. He became a cold-blooded hunter. Just barely above the evil which he killed.

Before the elevator doors opened, he quickly pressed the emergency switch. It was what he had to do every time before facing his team. While he knew he could fool everyone else just fine, he knew that Gibbs had already been few times dangerously close to suspecting something. He couldn't allow that to happen. It would be too dangerous. Not just for him and those he worked with and for, but also those in his current life.

Taking a few deep half sobs and half breaths, he leaned against the wall. Slowly stripping off the remains of Sean J. Roger_. _A few more breaths and he was fully back to being Very Special Agent Anthony D. DiNozzo Junior.

Glancing at his watch, he grimaced. _9:15 AM_. Man. Boss was going to eat him alive. And he was beyond tired. Ready to drop from his feet. He knew he should have made the plane fly just a little faster. Not safe, but at least he wouldn't be late from work.

Yawning several times, he pulled out a bottle of pills from his pocket. His hands shook and he nearly dropped it several times. His 'vitamins' were from their own doctor. He could still remember the first time they'd been introduced to these.

** _"Take only one or it won't be pretty. It will fool your body into thinking you've rested. Be careful though. Once 12 hours have passed, you will crash and fall asleep no matter where you are and what you do."_ **

Of course, because he was DiNozzo, he did once take two pills at once. With coffee of all the things. The results were not pretty at all and everyone around him had suffered from his hyper active behavior. Then finally he fell asleep, in the middle of the bullpen, while carrying coffee for his entire team. Including Gibbs.

Taking one cautiously, he grimaced at the aftertaste and glanced at his watch again. _9:17 AM._ Oh, Gibbs was so going to kill him.

Walking in the bullpen just a moment later, he smirked. "Good morning!"

McGee and Kate stared at him. They had already been suffering from Gibbs's wrath because of him and so they threw ugly looks at him.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry. My car broke down. It won't happen again." He flinched at the head slap as Gibbs materialized behind him from out of nowhere.

"You better make sure it won't."

"Sorry, boss..." Tony mumbled and rubbed the back of his head. Gibbs looked at him strangely and not for the first time Tony found himself worrying if he'd messed up somewhere. Giving out some signs or he hadn't lied well enough and if Gibbs was suspecting something. If he already knew.

"Get to work, DiNozzo."

"On it, boss..." Tony smiled softly and walked to his desk. "The coffee and lunch are on me today..." he muttered to the other two and they blinked. Surprised. "Really... I'm sorry..." He shrugged and they relaxed for a bit, even smiling at him.

"Are you working or are you not busy enough?" Gibbs barked and the agents rushed back to work.

Gibbs sat behind his desk and observed DiNozzo with a frown. There was something there and his gut was driving him crazy, but he never could figure out what the young man was hiding. He hoped it wasn't anything serious, but in his gut he knew. He knew he knew something, but he was in denial.

"DiNozzo."

"Yes, boss?"

"After work. My place. Cowboy steaks."

McGee and Kate looked shocked. They didn't know that it was something the two men did every once in a while and so they stared at them, without believing what they had just heard.

Tony smiled softly, but inside he felt like he was about to lose his breakfast. "Sure... I'll bring the beer..."

* * *

** _GIBBS'S PLACE, 9 PM. MONDAY. LATER ON THAT DAY.  
_ **

They ate and drank in silence. Gibbs was wishing the former Detective would open up to him and Tony was praying the older man wouldn't decide to now of all the times to become talkative.

Gibbs observed his young Agent. The whole time the man hadn't relaxed. As if knowing he had wanted to talk. It made him sad that Tony felt like he couldn't open up to him. Smiling sadly he took a swig from the beer bottle. "So... How did you spend your days off?"

Tony flashed a smile. "Don't tell probie and Kate, but... I actually spent the entire time at home. Watching movies and just sleeping..."

Gibbs wanted to growl and glare. He didn't know how he knew it, but DiNozzo was lying to him. Plus, he didn't look like a man who had gotten any sleep for some time. Instead of bringing that up, he leaned back and smiled. "Nothing wrong with that, DiNozzo... So what movies did you watch?"

Tony stared at his boss and friend in shock. Gibbs was actually willingly asking him about the movies?

Listening to Tony start his painfully long rambling about all the movies he had watched, Gibbs just kept observing him. Wondering if his gut was failing him. After all, he wasn't a young man anymore.

"...and then I realized I had enough of that for a while and decided to watch Licence to kill and before I knew it, I was on a James Bond marathon..."

Yeah... Maybe things were fine the way they were... It wasn't like _he_ shared everything with DiNozzo either... Gibbs smiled and didn't even focus on the young man's childlike excitement as he went on to quote his favorite movie parts for him. The parts he thought that Gibbs just _had_ to watch with him sometime.

In the middle of his happy speech, Tony started yawning and before he even realized it, he was deep asleep next to Gibbs.

"You know you can trust me, right?" Gibbs sighed and moved the young man so his head was on his lap. Brushing his fingers through the soft hair, he frowned and looked closer. _Blood? _

After making sure his Agent wasn't hiding any injuries from him, he relaxed, but the frown on his face didn't leave. Once again, his gut was screaming at him and he had no idea what to do with it. So for now he just had to keep trying to ignore it and hope,_ and_ _pray_, that someday the man would trust him enough...

** _The End_ **


End file.
